Stalled

blue tape measuring on clear glass square weighing scale
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I’ve plateaued. I am sure this will pass but it is disappointing. I am still intermittent fasting but I am not dropping any weight right now. I’m over-eating in my window,  but it is mainly because I am soooo tired. I tend to mindlessly munch when I’m tired and unfortunately I am past exhausted right now. I’ve been dealing with the drama of hurricane Florence (luckily minor to little damage in my area), a new job, and a sinus infection. Combined these factors have put most of my efforts to lose weight on hold. Fortunately I haven’t gained any weight either. So I am grateful for small victories. Hopefully I can get back on track. I have a vacation coming in the next few weeks, and I am on yet another antibiotic to try to wipe out my sinus infection. That should mean less stress, better sleep, and hopefully less fatigue. Maybe then the scale will start moving in the right direction instead of stubbornly reading the same thing over and over again.

Sweatin’ the Small Stuff

Probably TMI but I can’t remember the last time I actually sweated under my arms.  I actually think its been over 5 years or more.  Ever since I switched to the over the counter prescription strength antiperspirants underarm sweat and odor have been a thing of the past.  I can even go a day without wearing an antiperspirant and remain shower fresh.

On the surface that sounds great!  I no longer fear hot weather, those embarrassing sweat rings on shirts and dresses, and I no longer have to worry about embarrassing odors in social situations.  The down side is that this is completely abnormal.  I mean I should sweat a little bit when it is 100F outside shouldn’t I?  It doesn’t feel right to me no matter how convenient it is to be perspiration free.

A couple of weeks ago I ran out of my antiperspirant.  It was no biggy the first day or the second day.  A little rubbing alcohol under my arms after my shower in the morning was enough to keep me fresh all day.  But day three completely unnerved me.  Not because I was sweating but because of the horrible stench that seemed to seep out of my pores.   I was trying to figure out where that unearthly stench was coming from and it was me!  It didn’t smell like normal sweat-it smelled like some hot putrid burned body funk that I could never imagine.  I had barely started to perspire and I was stinking up my work area.  I rushed off to the bathroom to clean up and promptly went to buy the deodorant I had put off buying for the past 3 days.

The stink crisis was over but I was still bothered by the way using that antiperspirant had altered my body chemistry to create a funk that rivaled any BO I had ever smelled before.  I didn’t and still don’t like it.  I want to seriously reduce my dependence on the high potency antiperspirant I have been using and switch to a more natural deodorant.  I did a clay underarm detox yesterday and bought 2 scents of Tom’s natural deodorant.  I do know going in I will have to freshen up several times a day.  My plan is to try several types and scents of natural deodorants over the next few months and find one that works best for me.  If anyone has any suggestions let me know!

How is it Possible?

adult art conceptual dark
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I have a wedding to go to in just 3 short weeks. Flashback-when I brought the dress a little over a month ago I was about 8 lbs heavier. It fit quite nicely. The only complaint I had about it was that my stomach wasn’t quite where I wanted it to be. All in all any issues I had with the dress could be fixed by a spanx slip. A month ago I was sure that all I would need to do this close to the wedding would be to find some shoes to go along with the dress I purchased.
Fast forward to yesterday evening when I decided to try on the dress to see how much “better” it would fit. The dress was looser in the chest, arms, and waist. But somehow I seems that I have lost weight in all the wrong areas. My smaller waist made the dress seem baggy but I still had a bit of a pooch in the stomach area. I’m not even sure how that happened. It’s like the dress looked better with more stomach to fill it out?! Then the dress fell weird on in the thigh area-but my thighs have definitely gotten smaller as per my jeans. I’m at a loss. Either I need to lose another 5 lbs before the event so the dress hangs more like a shift dress or I need to find something else to wear. I can’t figure out how it is possible to lose weight in all the wrong places but I did it.
This is the part of my weight loss journey that is driving me nuts. None of my clothes fit quite right. Everything is baggy in the waist and butt but too tight to go down a size in the thigh/hip area. My tops don’t fit quite right either. I am probably between a sizes and that doesn’t help. Until then I will have to keep making things work I guess.

IF

I’m still having an issue with emotional eating. I am also dealing with the bone numbing fatigue that comes with a RA flare-which means I eat mindlessly for “energy”. I just want to maintain the progress that I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I’ve decided to try intermittent fasting (IF) to control my desire to shove food in my face 24/7.

Since my goal is to prevent over eating rather than rapid weight loss I’ve chosen to place my eating window from 9 am to 5 pm. I will still walk in the morning for about 35 minuets to get my fasting “workout”. Hopefully next week I will see 0 weight gain-which will be a victory for me.

Tumbling Down

I’m not completely out of control but if I don’t rein it in I will be.  As of Saturday I had lost 22 lbs since the beginning of my journey.  I haven’t been this “small” in about 3 years.  It’s a great feeling to be at a 3 year low but the bad habits and circumstances that caused my weight to balloon out of control threaten to derail me once again.

This blog isn’t about my chronic illness but the chronic illness is apart of my weight gain and weight loss journey.  Before rheumatoid arthritis I was barely a size 6-I could probably have fit into some size 5 clothing at that point.  I was working out for 1-2 hours every day.  I  was healthy.

Then one day my hands felt stiff.  Then my wrist and elbows.  My toes were swollen.  My knees didn’t bend quite right.  I woke up in pain.  I broke down in the bathroom at work because of the pain.  And then I had a diagnosis.  Enter medications that didn’t work, sort of worked, caused weight gain, caused horrible side effects, and then finally remission.

When remission came I had developed a bad habit of letting food be my comfort.  I refused to deny myself any tasty treat that I might want in the moment despite the fact the that my clothes didn’t fit and the scale reached heights I wasn’t comfortable with.  As I tried to climb out of the whole I had dug for myself.  I found (still find) it hard to regain the self-control and self-denial necessary to become healthy again. But I did.  I began exercising again.  My fast food diet was replaced by green smoothies and vegetables.  And 3 years ago I was in the same place health wise as I am today.

But just as I was getting my stride 3 years I got a rude wake up call.  Chronic means something never goes away.  The unrelenting fatigue returned.  Once again my joints began to swell.  And I once again found myself struggling to make it through everyday life.  And once again food was there to comfort me.

My medications were once again changed.  I had more energy, less swelling, and less pain.  I went to see a nutritionist.  I began making health choices that would help me regain my health.  But about 3 weeks ago something changed.  Random swelling is back.  I am stiff again.  When I sit for prolonged periods of time I limp when I walk.  As I type this my hands hurt.  And today I went over my calorie count.  Not because I was hungry but because I feel bad.  My meds aren’t working.  And I used food to cope.

I’ve worked too hard to let this tumble-down around me.  But my options far as a medicine for a flare-prednisone- causes weight gain.  I’m not at a point where I can’t function.  It’s just harder than I want it to be.  Harder than it should be.  But that’s just life.  Everyone is struggling with something that is harder than it should be.  It’s just my cross to carry-but this time I will not buckle under its weight.

 

Me verses the Wall

I am trying to drink more water. I have jumped onto the drink half your weight in water train and I am riding it for all it’s worth. Positives-my skin is more hydrated and I have noticed an increase in my energy levels. The down side-having to pee 20 times throughout the night.

Last night I was determined not to wake up for the 18th time to trudge to the bathroom. I was trying to remain “sleep” despite having to get out of bed. That strategy worked well until I walked into the doorframe of the bathroom.

So I’ve been sporting a lovely bruise right between my eyes. It’s still sore to touch and I’ve had a slight headache all day. But I still did my 30 minute walk this morning before work and I’m still drinking my water today. So I guess I won ?

Note to Self-Meal Prep

variety of food on wooden coaster
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I know that weight loss is 80% of what you eat.  I also know that good health relies heavily how you fuel your body.  But over and over again I plan to grab something “healthy” on the run.  Even though 9 out of 10 times that doesn’t happen. The sad thing is I don’t intend to make  poor choices.  More and more I am finding that I eat unhealthily because there are no healthy choices available to me.

My cafeteria at work will advertise vegetables but then season them with bacon or ham.  So the one thing a non-meat eater can always count on instantly becomes uneatable.  Then I look at the entrees: meat, meat, or  mac’n cheese.  All poor choices for me.  So I am left grabbing a bag of chips, crackers, or a KIND bar.  Great!  The poor  breakfast and lunch choices lead to ravenous hunger after work and me opting for something quick rather than something nutritious.

I need to get it through my head that this is insanity.  Everyday I go to the company cafeteria expecting choices and most days I am disappointed.  I need to start bringing my breakfast and lunch.  I need to start meal prepping on the weekend.  Because it doesn’t matter if I wake up early every morning before work and walk.  It doesn’t matter if I track my calories religiously.  I cannot get healthy if I don’t take control of my diet.  So this weekend I will plan out a menu.  I will prep my meals.  I will making the same choice over and over again and expecting a different result.