Stalled

blue tape measuring on clear glass square weighing scale
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I’ve plateaued. I am sure this will pass but it is disappointing. I am still intermittent fasting but I am not dropping any weight right now. I’m over-eating in my window,  but it is mainly because I am soooo tired. I tend to mindlessly munch when I’m tired and unfortunately I am past exhausted right now. I’ve been dealing with the drama of hurricane Florence (luckily minor to little damage in my area), a new job, and a sinus infection. Combined these factors have put most of my efforts to lose weight on hold. Fortunately I haven’t gained any weight either. So I am grateful for small victories. Hopefully I can get back on track. I have a vacation coming in the next few weeks, and I am on yet another antibiotic to try to wipe out my sinus infection. That should mean less stress, better sleep, and hopefully less fatigue. Maybe then the scale will start moving in the right direction instead of stubbornly reading the same thing over and over again.

Sweatin’ the Small Stuff

Probably TMI but I can’t remember the last time I actually sweated under my arms.  I actually think its been over 5 years or more.  Ever since I switched to the over the counter prescription strength antiperspirants underarm sweat and odor have been a thing of the past.  I can even go a day without wearing an antiperspirant and remain shower fresh.

On the surface that sounds great!  I no longer fear hot weather, those embarrassing sweat rings on shirts and dresses, and I no longer have to worry about embarrassing odors in social situations.  The down side is that this is completely abnormal.  I mean I should sweat a little bit when it is 100F outside shouldn’t I?  It doesn’t feel right to me no matter how convenient it is to be perspiration free.

A couple of weeks ago I ran out of my antiperspirant.  It was no biggy the first day or the second day.  A little rubbing alcohol under my arms after my shower in the morning was enough to keep me fresh all day.  But day three completely unnerved me.  Not because I was sweating but because of the horrible stench that seemed to seep out of my pores.   I was trying to figure out where that unearthly stench was coming from and it was me!  It didn’t smell like normal sweat-it smelled like some hot putrid burned body funk that I could never imagine.  I had barely started to perspire and I was stinking up my work area.  I rushed off to the bathroom to clean up and promptly went to buy the deodorant I had put off buying for the past 3 days.

The stink crisis was over but I was still bothered by the way using that antiperspirant had altered my body chemistry to create a funk that rivaled any BO I had ever smelled before.  I didn’t and still don’t like it.  I want to seriously reduce my dependence on the high potency antiperspirant I have been using and switch to a more natural deodorant.  I did a clay underarm detox yesterday and bought 2 scents of Tom’s natural deodorant.  I do know going in I will have to freshen up several times a day.  My plan is to try several types and scents of natural deodorants over the next few months and find one that works best for me.  If anyone has any suggestions let me know!

Still Here!

Life has been crazy! Things have been crazy at work. I had an out of town wedding to attend this last weekend. (I managed to fit into the dress-go me!). I will do better updating this blog starting this week. But first I need to unpack and put out some fires at work.

I’m still intermittent fasting. I’ll try to do a update on that very soon. It’s working for me pretty well and I am thinking of doing a 19/5 fast to get the last few pounds off. I can’t wait to get back to my routine after the last few weeks I’ve had!

More Determined than Ever

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So I’ve been intermittent fasting for just under 2 weeks. It’s going well so far. Today I completed my first 18 hour fast. It actually wasn’t that bad. I have done the 16/8 split before (several years ago) and it seemed my body adjusted to that eating window super-fast this time. After a week 17 hour fast were the norm but I was having trouble getting through that last hour. Today I made it! The funny thing is I actually had my lightest meal at the close of my eating window rather than my heaviest meal at the end of my window. So I am excited to see where I am this time next week.
My nutritionist wants me to lose 4 lbs in the next for weeks. It is definitely an achievable goal but it will take some dedication and determination on my part. I’ve been actively trying to lose weight for a little over 4 months. More and more lately I find myself thinking on my old favorite meals. I miss having ranch dip and potato chips for dinner (totally wrong I know). I miss eating more than 2 slices of pizza. I want to have a drink-right now I can’t justify the calories in a mixed drink. I miss my old ways.
But I want my health more. Intermittent fasting is good for me. It makes me make better choices with the foods I chose. The resurgence of my rheumatoid arthritis symptoms has made diet and weight loss an even bigger priority than it was. And you know what? A protein smoothie with spinach and berries isn’t half bad. I actually quite like my anti-inflammatory concoction.

How is it Possible?

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I have a wedding to go to in just 3 short weeks. Flashback-when I brought the dress a little over a month ago I was about 8 lbs heavier. It fit quite nicely. The only complaint I had about it was that my stomach wasn’t quite where I wanted it to be. All in all any issues I had with the dress could be fixed by a spanx slip. A month ago I was sure that all I would need to do this close to the wedding would be to find some shoes to go along with the dress I purchased.
Fast forward to yesterday evening when I decided to try on the dress to see how much “better” it would fit. The dress was looser in the chest, arms, and waist. But somehow I seems that I have lost weight in all the wrong areas. My smaller waist made the dress seem baggy but I still had a bit of a pooch in the stomach area. I’m not even sure how that happened. It’s like the dress looked better with more stomach to fill it out?! Then the dress fell weird on in the thigh area-but my thighs have definitely gotten smaller as per my jeans. I’m at a loss. Either I need to lose another 5 lbs before the event so the dress hangs more like a shift dress or I need to find something else to wear. I can’t figure out how it is possible to lose weight in all the wrong places but I did it.
This is the part of my weight loss journey that is driving me nuts. None of my clothes fit quite right. Everything is baggy in the waist and butt but too tight to go down a size in the thigh/hip area. My tops don’t fit quite right either. I am probably between a sizes and that doesn’t help. Until then I will have to keep making things work I guess.

IF

I’m still having an issue with emotional eating. I am also dealing with the bone numbing fatigue that comes with a RA flare-which means I eat mindlessly for “energy”. I just want to maintain the progress that I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I’ve decided to try intermittent fasting (IF) to control my desire to shove food in my face 24/7.

Since my goal is to prevent over eating rather than rapid weight loss I’ve chosen to place my eating window from 9 am to 5 pm. I will still walk in the morning for about 35 minuets to get my fasting “workout”. Hopefully next week I will see 0 weight gain-which will be a victory for me.

Tumbling Down

I’m not completely out of control but if I don’t rein it in I will be.  As of Saturday I had lost 22 lbs since the beginning of my journey.  I haven’t been this “small” in about 3 years.  It’s a great feeling to be at a 3 year low but the bad habits and circumstances that caused my weight to balloon out of control threaten to derail me once again.

This blog isn’t about my chronic illness but the chronic illness is apart of my weight gain and weight loss journey.  Before rheumatoid arthritis I was barely a size 6-I could probably have fit into some size 5 clothing at that point.  I was working out for 1-2 hours every day.  I  was healthy.

Then one day my hands felt stiff.  Then my wrist and elbows.  My toes were swollen.  My knees didn’t bend quite right.  I woke up in pain.  I broke down in the bathroom at work because of the pain.  And then I had a diagnosis.  Enter medications that didn’t work, sort of worked, caused weight gain, caused horrible side effects, and then finally remission.

When remission came I had developed a bad habit of letting food be my comfort.  I refused to deny myself any tasty treat that I might want in the moment despite the fact the that my clothes didn’t fit and the scale reached heights I wasn’t comfortable with.  As I tried to climb out of the whole I had dug for myself.  I found (still find) it hard to regain the self-control and self-denial necessary to become healthy again. But I did.  I began exercising again.  My fast food diet was replaced by green smoothies and vegetables.  And 3 years ago I was in the same place health wise as I am today.

But just as I was getting my stride 3 years I got a rude wake up call.  Chronic means something never goes away.  The unrelenting fatigue returned.  Once again my joints began to swell.  And I once again found myself struggling to make it through everyday life.  And once again food was there to comfort me.

My medications were once again changed.  I had more energy, less swelling, and less pain.  I went to see a nutritionist.  I began making health choices that would help me regain my health.  But about 3 weeks ago something changed.  Random swelling is back.  I am stiff again.  When I sit for prolonged periods of time I limp when I walk.  As I type this my hands hurt.  And today I went over my calorie count.  Not because I was hungry but because I feel bad.  My meds aren’t working.  And I used food to cope.

I’ve worked too hard to let this tumble-down around me.  But my options far as a medicine for a flare-prednisone- causes weight gain.  I’m not at a point where I can’t function.  It’s just harder than I want it to be.  Harder than it should be.  But that’s just life.  Everyone is struggling with something that is harder than it should be.  It’s just my cross to carry-but this time I will not buckle under its weight.